Happy Dysfunctional Holidays

metalman

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatricly Challenged

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
3. Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and ...
6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Full Personality Disorder-- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...
10. Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
11. Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe
12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
13. Social Anxiety Disorder --- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas while I Sit Here and Hyperventilate.
14. Attention Deficit Disorder - Fa la la la la, la la la SQUIRREL!!!
15. Bi-polar Disorder - We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, and go {bleep} yourself, you insensitive prick.
 

metalman

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"hands up" Ferguson approved Christmas Carols
( NOT A PARODY )

a new rendition of “White Christmas”

They’re dreaming of a white Christmas,

Just like the ones the bigots know

Where justice is missing and fairness isn’t

Because fairness and justice they don’t know

They’re dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones the bigots know

Where Fox News they listen and reason is distant …


( to the tune of Silver Bells )
“Life is Hell”:

Busy racists, busy racists.

Dressed in KKK style

In the air

There’s a feeling of bias

Bigots laughing

Racists passing

Every mile after mile

And on every street corner you’ll hear

Life is hell…
 
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metalman

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