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Check out the new Whyzzat Swagspot, for the latest
in cool, frank, and terribly wearable fashion statements!
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| Author |
Message |
Andy
Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 7
Location: Hartlepool
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Little Johnny
Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 5:25 pm
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President Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he
visits, one of the 4th grade classes. They are in the middle of a
discussion related to words and their meanings. The
teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the
discussion of the word, "tragedy."
So the President asks the class for an example of the word "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next
door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and
runs him over, that would be a tragedy."?
"No," says Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove
off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Bush. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who
can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, way in the back of the room, Little Johnny raises his hand. In a
quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Bush, was
struck by a missile and blown to pieces, that would be a tragedy.?"
"Fantastic", exclaims Mr. Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY
that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," Little Johnny said, "because it wouldn't be an accident,
and it damn sure wouldn't be a great loss."
_________________
"If builders constructed buildings in the same manner that programmers write software, the first woodpecker would have destroyed civilisation..." |
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Andy
Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 7
Location: Hartlepool
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Little Johnny
Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 6:28 pm
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Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his
regular teacher.
She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it
has an "r" after the first letter."
The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy."
A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to
her desk the teacher asks what her name is.
Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it has an "r" after
the first letter."
"That's right!" she coaxed.
Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"
_________________
"If builders constructed buildings in the same manner that programmers write software, the first woodpecker would have destroyed civilisation..." |
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Andy
Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 7
Location: Hartlepool
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Little Johnny
Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 6:40 pm
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a
sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out,
'Miss Jones, I need to have a piss!'
Miss Jones replied,
'Now Johnny, that is not the proper word to use in this
situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate.
Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and
I will allow you to go.'
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, 'You're an
eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a 10.'
_________________
"If builders constructed buildings in the same manner that programmers write software, the first woodpecker would have destroyed civilisation..." |
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Andy
Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 7
Location: Hartlepool
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Little Johnny
Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 6:42 pm
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Little Johnny was being
particularly reckless one day. He was playing in the
backyard when some honeybees started swirling
around, annoying him. He began stomping on them in a
temper and his father saw him.
'That's it. No honey for you for one month.'
Later, Johnny pondered over some butterflies and soon
started catching them and crushing them under his feet.
His father again caught him and after a brief moment of
thought said, 'No butter for you for one month.'
Early that evening, Johnny's mother was cooking dinner
and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying
around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them
one by one until all the cockroaches were dead.
Johnny's mother looked up to find Johnny and his
father standing there watching her, to which Johnny
said, 'Are you going to tell her, Daddy, or do you want
me to?'
_________________
"If builders constructed buildings in the same manner that programmers write software, the first woodpecker would have destroyed civilisation..." |
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