Gay man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[redrumloa]

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=573

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.
According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.

 

[cecilia]

the guy DOING the groping is the one sexually assaulting.

and if i sneeze when someone touches my nose, will i get arrested?

 

[metalman]

Copyright © 2010 · ; All Rights Reserved Powered by Bovine Excrement
Dead Serious News is a satirical website that is updated on an irregular basis. With the exception of the names of public figures, all names are fictional.

 

[cecilia]

Copyright © 2010 · ; All Rights Reserved Powered by Bovine Excrement
Dead Serious News is a satirical website that is updated on an irregular basis. With the exception of the names of public figures, all names are fictional.

I KNOW that is satire. after all, I post articles from the onion here :roll:

that's not the point. every-time one of those agents "pat" someone down they are assaulting a person who has not committed any crimes. however funny the satirical piece is, being sexually compromised is NOT funny