Where's the epiphany?

[Wayne]

As some of you may know, I'm currently on 90-day furlough (which officially started today by the way), which is a fancy way of saying "laid off without pay".

I've gone through all the appropriate steps from shock, to denial, to anger and so forth. Now I'm simply into acceptance and taking life day by day. I could easily get mired down in bitter diatribe blaming the world for my troubles, but really.. they're all problems of my own making. If I were a weaker person, I could blame Obama and the Democrats like everyone else, but again, my ending up in this situation really does reflect more on bad planning for myself than anything else.

The work thing is honestly just part of the business of being a contractor. Contract year ends, contract ends, work ends, money ends. Simple really. No hard feelings. The guys at work say they're actively searching for something to put me to work on and I sincerely pray for their success, but the natural skeptic in me is battling the hopeless optimist. You know how that goes. I can sincerely say that this has all lead to a great number of lessons being learned about my lifestyle, my life as a whole, the stupidity of relying on credit for toys in the vain attempt to find happiness, and so-forth.

Filed for Unemployment today (online thankfully). Don't know how much that will be, but I do know it's "more than minimum wage but less than needed to live comfortably". Between it, and the funds garnered from selling the motorcycle and other things, I should be ok for a short while, but jobs around here -- for me -- seem to be very rare unless I'm willing to flip burgers or work at Walmart (again, minimum wage, less than unemployment).

As such, while I continue to search in earnest for employment, I may be forced to relocate by the current market. Away from friends, my house, and everything I love. I might be miserable and suicidal, but I'd survive.

In the meantime, I'm moderately content -- though simultaneously not -- to use this time for soul-searching and to get both my life, and my house in order. Literally on the house, mentally on the introspection.

What I've come up with so far is trying to get at the source of my resistance for finishing my degree. Mostly, I can trace my hesitation back to childish resentment. Again, I could dwell on it, but doing so would be pointless if not self-destructive. Historically and frankly honest, I started half-ass attempts in 85 and 89. Drafting in 85, which I gave up because I fell "in love", gave it all up, and moved to North Carolina. Computers in 1989 because it sounded like fun, but both met with lackluster ends by my own hands.

Now, 20-years later at 43, I *know* what I need to do, but have no way to do it. What I'm afraid of is that if I get another chance at work, I'll prioritize work (as I should) but forget about the need to do the right thing and work towards getting my degree. As of right now, I've decided that should I get the chance, I'm most interested in getting back to Architecture.

There's something soothing to the soul for me in drafting up a house, or sitting around looking at house plan books making changes in my mind as to how I'd do things better, or at least differently. Trouble I have is, Drafting and Architecture seems to have fallen out of favor in the last 20 years. Once upon a time, when such endeavors were all based on paper and driven by intelligence and talent, you could get a Bachelor's and even occasionally find a Master's degree on the subject.

Now that Architecture is all based on computers and "any idiot can design a house", it seems very difficult to find more than an Associate's degree, which indicates to me that it would be about as useful as a Doctorate in "Underwater Basket Weaving"....

There's also the subject of payment. An average Bachelor's degree is $40,000 per year, $160,000 to $200,000 to complete. How in the hell does a 43 year old EVER pay for such an education when the chances of ever making that money back (versus what I make now) are almost zero.

So, I'm sure this is all a catch 22, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one faced with such a conundrum, but for those of you who are in it, I sure could use an idea or two... After all, my only backup plan seems to be to clear out the bank account, pick up the passport, walk away from it all, and let God land me where he may.

 

[Glaucus]

$40K per year sounds insane. For less then that you could become a Dr here in Canada. Weird. I think my degree was closer to $2K per year, but I believe it's at least doubled since then.

 

[cecilia]

how about designing Green homes? isn't that a field that is opening up?

the new, cool thing?

I have been researching solar energy for my mom's house because the energy co on Long Island gives rebates and you have to get qualified people to design and set that up so it's according to code.

I always used my not-working-time investigating new ideas (and i've had plenty of those) :mrgreen:

good luck!

 

[redrumloa]

Sucks Wayne, really does. I'm sorry to hear it did happen. I hope it doesn't come to it, but walking away from a house and mailing the keys to the mortgage company is in vogue. Take a hard cold look at your finances before making your mortgage payments. If you end up having to go into survival mode and the mortgage is under water anyhow, don't give your last penny to the bank. They will be very cold if that day comes, so take the same approach to the bank as the bank will to you.

I wish I had more advise, but I am not familiar with your field of work. How about temp agencies? Maybe you can find a temp to permanent position?

 

[Glaucus]

Yeah, it is tough. I was laid off in 2002, didn't get a real job until 2004. Worked at odd jobs. The best is if you know someone who can pay you under the table, that way you can get EI and some extra cash too. I did some metal shop work, tiling, and worked at a video rental shop for some time. Also put an ad in the paper to fix people's computer problems for a small fee. It totally sucks but all you have to do is hold on for a while until things get better.

Can you rent out a room in the house? If that's an option, it could be a great way to make ends meet. That has always been my backup plan if I were to get laid off.

 

[Speelgoedmannetje]

$40K per year sounds insane. For less then that you could become a Dr here in Canada. Weird. I think my degree was closer to $2K per year, but I believe it's at least doubled since then.

2k :shock:
Here in NL I had to pay 900 Euro a year, and that's fairly recent...

But then again, our freedom is shattered under the wheels of the heavy tanks of the oppresive communists.

O.T. Make sure you get good references from your current job.
As you're pretty sure you get fired, be confident that you have (I think) a lot of working experience, and you certainly do not seem to be a passive person (with all the sites and such). Therefore I'm sure you'll get another job soon

 

[FluffyMcDeath]

Sucks Wayne, really does. I'm sorry to hear it did happen. I hope it doesn't come to it, but walking away from a house and mailing the keys to the mortgage company is in vogue.

If someone decides that defaulting is their only option then they may as well go all the way and challenge a foreclosure and maybe keep the property.

Not all foreclosures stand.

Also I've heard that there is a at least one effort to get a class action started up. 60 million mortgages may be invalid. You may already own your home.

 

[cecilia]

$40K per year sounds insane. For less then that you could become a Dr here in Canada. Weird. I think my degree was closer to $2K per year, but I believe it's at least doubled since then.

2k :shock:
Here in NL I had to pay 900 Euro a year, and that's fairly recent...

But then again, our freedom is shattered under the wheels of the heavy tanks of the oppressive communists.

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

 

[FluffyMcDeath]

There's always the Revolution.

Join today.

 

[Glaucus]

Glad that video wasn't around when I was a kid, it would have given me the creeps!

Btw, they opened for U2 in the Southern US. Just thought I'd throw that in. :mrgreen:

 

[ilwrath]

Man, I am sorry to hear it, Wayne. I was recently faced with those same choices. The thought of moving right now, and leaving behind family, friends, and massive losses on my (actually very modest) house (that lost about 50% of it's value in the past 5 years) was not exactly pleasant. I got extraordinarily lucky and found a new job at a fair local wage quickly. It wasn't before I did some introspection and pondering, though.

Being in Detroit, I had the epiphany about my lifestyle, early. Technology jobs in this area never really recovered from the dot-com collapse. In a weird way, that was a blessing. I never really got as accustomed and brainwashed into chasing after the material things. But it's still hard to make those choices. I still have my sports car, but that was bought and paid for a long time ago. In my mind, I can't sell it for what its worth, and again, I've been fortunate that I haven't been forced to sell it for less. That would have made that epiphany much more painful than it was.

As for Red's thought of walking away from the house mortgage... I'd take into consideration what that would do to your credit score. As much as it sucks, there are a lot of tools you need that take credit score into consideration. For jobs, loans, grants, colleges, insurance, background investigations, and especially government clearances.... They may not all admit it up front, but they all will decline or blacklist you for a bad credit score. So if your credit slides, you've just lost access to all those tools for helping yourself out of that situation. The whole credit system is a scam, from top to bottom. But if you want to improve your situation in life, it's a lot harder if you piss off the creditors.

The only other insight I've gained recently, is that while my career isn't everything I hoped it would be (by any means).... It's one of the few things I'm qualified to do that pays better than base wages. And while maybe conventional wisdom is that I should finish a college degree and chase a different career, I think that is just brainwashing, as well. The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you know it has been fertilized by at least as much shit. It'll stink just as bad if or when you get there. My thoughts ended on just finding something you can do, and do what you have to to stick with it.

So my thoughts land on the side of taking your unemployment checks (I'm sure you've paid enough into the system over the years!), ride out the storm, take some side jobs where you can, and put yourself in the best position you reasonably can to jump at the next sensible opportunity, without overdoing it.

Your observations about college degree costs vs. benefits are very astute. You likely WON'T ever make enough to pay that off. That's why colleges market themselves so much. They push their degree to your EMOTIONAL side. They make you think you NEED a degree... But do you really? If you rationally add up the numbers, that degree just doesn't make any sense. If I finished my degree, I'd be qualified to do the same job I'm doing now, and getting the same wage I'm getting now. It *MIGHT* help me find a new job sometime in the future, but that is FAR from a given. I know PLENTY of people with degrees who are currently unemployed or under employed.

Of course, for every rule, there is an exception. Some states may help pay for your education if you're on unemployment. I don't know what schools are in the Huntsville area, but at Detroit, we have Wayne State University, which is actually a very good nationally accredited and recognized university that caters almost 100% to the commuter crowd. That's good because it's a lot cheaper and they have more adult-friendly hours for classes. Adding the lower prices with the state reimbursement, it could really change the equation on degree costs vs. benefits... Especially during the slow economic times that you wouldn't be earning as much, anyhow. I was investigating this possible course of action, when my new job came in place.