Bizarro News

DT3LUn2W0AIZlHW.jpg
 
DAVID LEE ROTH IMPERSONATOR ARRESTED ON SEX CHARGES

A man known for pretending to be Van Halen singer David Lee Roth has been arrested on charges of having underage sex. David Kuntz-Angel faces 12 counts stretching back to 2006; he had been on the run for several months before being caught on Jan. 3 in British Columbia.

Kuntz-Angel has spent more than a decade trying to persuade people he was a rock star. In 2008, he identifiedhimself as Roth after being stopped for speeding by Canadian police – while the real singer was performing in New York City. Various witnesses recalled a time when Kuntz-Angel used his passing physical similarity to Roth to receive free grooming treatments, among other things. In 1989, he was accused in a murder trial of trying to persuade one of his girlfriends to kill another one. His “mesmerizing” personality was said to have been behind his ability to convince people he was Roth.

The Agassiz-Harrison Observer reported this week that Kuntz-Angel was apprehended after a struggle in which he was pepper-sprayed to subdue him. Charges include having groomed a female victim, now 20 years old, over a 10-year period, touching a young person for sexual purpose, two counts of sexual assault and two counts of assault.

Crown counsel Sandra Di Curzio used the impersonation claims to argue against setting bail for Kuntz-Angel, telling Chilliwack Provincial Court, “If this is a person who goes by multiple names, how is he going to be monitored in the community? He goes by ‘David Lee Roth’.” She added that he’d used the name in at least two nearby stores, and a bail report had suggested he might be using as many as 19 identities. Judge Wendy Young denied bail, and Kurtz-Angel will be remanded in custody until his trial, which is set for May.
 
I don't understand Nutella. It doesn't even taste that good. I also don't understand Oero's. But i won't criticise because we have Vegemite which is AWESOME!!!
 
Kesa said:
I don't understand Nutella. It doesn't even taste that good. I also don't understand Oero's. But i won't criticise because we have Vegemite which is AWESOME!!!
Click to expand...

Lol, I like Nutella, but I'm not going to fight over a jar
Nutella & Peanut butter on graham cracker :)

vegemite ?!? that is fermented beer yeast
no one but Aussie's eat that
 
metalman said:
Lol, I like Nutella, but I'm not going to fight over a jar
Nutella & Peanut butter on graham cracker :)

vegemite ?!? that is fermented beer yeast
no one but Aussie's eat that
Click to expand...

I've actually never tried either Nutella or Vegemite. When I hear Nutella I always think of this meme.

blood-type_o_2000293.jpg
 
Think this guy's hoping for an insanity verdict:
Finsbury Park attack accused blames man called ‘Dave’ in ‘absurd’ defence

Darren Osborne, who is alleged to have driven the van into a group of people in north London last year, said a man named Dave jumped into the passenger’s side shortly beforehand. Dave then transferred to the driver’s seat, with the van still moving, while Osborne hid in the footwell, before the vehicle hit the group, the defendant said.

The prosecutor, Jonathan Rees, asked why CCTV footage showed only one man leaving the van and what had happened to Dave, adding: “He’s not a magician, is he?” Osborne replied: “He is like Dynamo [the street magician]; an illusion, an illusionist. He can make himself vanish, perhaps.”
Click to expand...
 
Robert said:
I'm sure you'll all be astonished to learn that the "A guy called Dave did it then vanished" defence didn't work.
Accused found guilty today.
Click to expand...
Which is odd, because that's just the sort of thing you'd expect Dave to do. Dave's always getting away with crap like that and leaving other people holding the bag.

--edit--

You know, I kind of wish he had said it was "Jinn" instead and then he could have had the prosecution having to argue that Jinn don't exist and he could have called an Imam for the defence.
 
Last edited:
FluffyMcDeath said:
Which is odd, because that's just the sort of thing you'd expect Dave to do. Dave's always getting away with crap like that and leaving other people holding the bag.
Click to expand...

Yes, Dave is notorious for that. :D
For some bizarre reason it actually reminded me of this:

You know, I kind of wish he had said it was "Jinn" instead and then he could have had the prosecution having to argue that Jinn don't exist and he could have called an Imam for the defence.
Click to expand...

Yes, that would certainly have put the cat among the pigeons.
 
Tasered For Taco Bell!

Embedded media from this media site is no longer available
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top