Corona jokes

Imagine if 10 years ago you were approached by a time traveler and he was like "look, I don't have much time to explain, all I can tell you is that the year 2020 is going to be an absolute crap show. You know Donald Trump, the star of the Apprentice? Well he's the President of the United States and at the beginning of 2020 he gets into a Twitter beef with Iran that almost starts World War 3. Australia catches on fire and a woman tries to save it by selling pictures of her boobs. Kobe Bryant passes away in a helicopter crash. Half the world is devastated, the other half just makes up funny memes. A little time passes and just when the world starts recovering from the loss of Kobe some dude in China eats a raw bat and starts a global pandemic that specifically kills maw maws and paw paws. Everyone loses their minds. 40% of the population thinks it's the end of the world another 40% thinks it's all fake and 20% blames the whole thing on cell phone towers and Tom Hanks kids. The one thing everyone seems to agree on is that the only way to survive is by hoarding toilet paper. Grocery stores are ransacked and Charmin ultra soft essentially replaces the dollar as the United States official currency. Eventually, as hysteria grows, world governments are forced to shut the entire planet down and lock everyone in their houses and the only thing that keeps the people from completely losing their minds and starting a huge riot is a gun toting homosexual Oklahoma man with a meth addiction and 227 pet tigers...

I'd be like, "Here's a dollar now get away from me crackhead."
"Next you'll be telling me 2 asteroids are heading towards earth in April"

Two Asteroids Are Headed for Earth in April, but It Doesn't Mean the End of Days

Apocalypse 2020, the reality show!




 
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If you get an email with the subject "Knock Knock"

DON"T OPEN IT!

It's a Jehovah's Witness working from home
 
BREAKING: China reports 6 negative deaths today.
They came back to life by the kiss of Xi.
 
You know how messed up 2020 is?

Cinco De Mayo falls on taco Tuesday this year

But everyone will have to stay home because a virus has the same name as a Mexican beer!
 
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