Political Jokes 2019 & 2020

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James Bond cancels Beijing tour because this is No Time to Die

I suppose this is a smart thing to do although he could Die Another Day.
He’ll have another chance because you only live twice.
He'll just live and let die imho.
when asked by medical professionals if he was in close proximity to anyone showing symptoms, he told his Dr., No
Princess Diamonds are forfever
Unless they came from Russia with love.
The safety goggles, they're for your eyes only.
It can be difficult to cope with the Spectre of covid-19 hanging over our heads.
covid-19 scares The Living Daylights out of us.
What’s scary about this virus is all efforts in The World Is Not Enough to contain it
He's probably shaken by the stir this virus has caused; it feels like the Skyfall-ing down.
I wish we had more information but all the documentation on the virus is classified for your eyes only.
 
Now I understand why God was so cryptic in the Book of Revelation.
If he had written down "Armageddon will occur when a South Korean anti-Christ has his disciples traveling the world farting people to death"
People would have been rolling their eyes and going, good joke there Jehovah!
" you really had me going there with that apocalyptic Revelation stuff"



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also Satan, he covers all the options
 
Gandalf: The Shadow rises in the East. Dark armies are massing. The Nazgul have been unleashed. The Eye of Sauron is open...

Bernie Sanders: And you know what that Eye did as soon as it opened? Implemented a 5 year literacy plan. There's a lot we could learn from Mordor.

Bernie Sanders: I fully support the Mordor-Rohan peace process, but no true progress can be made without the right of orc return.

Bernie Sanders: Sauron, the orcs, the Nazgul. They're all just misunderstood.

Bernie Sanders: All Sauron wanted to do was liberate the common people from their high and mighty aristocrats! Elvish lords, Dwarvish lords, lords of men — all the lordly lords lording it over everyone. He never called himself the Dark Lord, that's what lord-loving lordists called him. His friends just called him Mairon.

Bernie Sanders: Sauron gave Orcs, Trolls, and Goblins full employment and free health care!
 
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