anybody interested in hearing a story?

i actually have uncle joe still with me... i went and got him from my tacklebox... go ahead say thats creepy... but if you knew story....

uncle joe

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ignore the coffee stains on my quilt cutter...
 
cool. I decided long ago that I'm not getting buried. not only is it way too much money (what a waste), assuming anyone is still around that cares they can throw my ashes in the river
 
cecilia said:
cool. I decided long ago that I'm not getting buried. not only is it way too much money (what a waste), assuming anyone is still around that cares they can throw my ashes in the river
Click to expand...

i wouldnt throw the rest of him in the river... that little can is half the reason i can sleep at night... during fishing season he rides in the tacklebox... rest of the time he's in the glove box of the ranger... he's like t bone... goes where i go...
 
we went to the church about two days after he died, and everybody told a "joe story", his kids didnt have one, much less a thousand. i told them how he was my best friend, a good teacher of morality, and then i regaled them for about two hours longer than anyone wanted, and made them listen to every story i had.... his friends and family looked at me like i had met a complete alien...:(
 
the next day was the funeral, and his kids and i were to be pall bearers, only at a cremation its light duty.... he was two big for one box, and in fact too big for two... his son, my cousin... put the leftovers into two chew tins... he handed it to me at the funeral and said"i get the feeling youre not ready to let dad go just yet" i told him "that day would never come" i still have mine... he lost his when he got picked up running 27 kilos of meth for mexican mafia... (whole 'nother story by the way)... and not my business...
 
okay so the beer showed up... and i was amazed... guy said the army only owns you til 6 and after that its "free time"... and then it was.... this was not the other unit...
 
as a soldier you come with a green solo cup... it's called a canteen... :D... i was told to hang out with this sgt for the rest of the night... i did... he took me from place to place and i got to "party/hang out" with every section... then we went to the other unit... the tank battalion... he "had a buddy" he said... i had to pee... so i started off towards the trees... as i was shaking it off he said, "you smoke?" as i had a cigarette hanging lit from my lip, i thought that funny and said "well yeah, don't you?", he was like "oh nah, nah, nah, man i mean the weed?" it was dark so i couldn't really see him, i took a chance and said "only when it presents itself", ... he said "well then" and produced one of those spring loaded bat one hitters... he handed it to me... i obliged...:D.. and while it tasted like ass and was by no means the kind of chronic you write home to mom about, it did the trick. we bullshitted for about twenty minutes and hit the bat a few times. with the beer i was in a mellow mood. we walked through the woods for a few minutes and i actually wondered if he was lost. his name was glenn by the way. i actually was high enough i asked him if he was lost and i heard from the dark..."oh, nah, nah, nah .... its just up around this bend in the hill". stumbling through the dark i felt un reassured...:D. we finally pushed through until we hit a swatch of trees and we were instantly there.... an hour later... in real time.... i had seen a neutered one at the VFW, and another at the americon legion only it was a captured enemy one, this was the real deal. it was so dark i could hardly see under the trees you had to walk into the clearing to catch it in its full view.... after a lifetime of marveling at tractors and combines and the machineries of the day this was the grand daddy of them all. it's a tank. some of them weigh 45 tons, fully loaded and armored. it is a b grade movie in the making, just add wet tank. everything you think about military helicopters flying at a full tilt... is true... whatever you might think about a tank is in question....on the road to khafji i watched hoardes of these iron buffaloes so thick you think you would have sworn you could jump from one to the other, and the sky was filled with helicopters and warthogs....at any rate these things just "are". i had never seen one in it's natural environs so i was awestruck, i still am. a tank is a weapon like no other. if someone has to send a tank to fix their problem, then situation is all fouled up. there wasn't just one tho, there were twenty. they were using the range too. (it's also a bombing range)... we climbed on top of the tank... he tapped on it with his steel pot... then pulled the lid...
 
tanks have a bunch of room, and the chem warfare gear make great smoke filters. there were four guys inside already. (the back area is largely empty if they arent hot) the cpt. in charge was snorting a line and offered me the tooter. i took it.... he then announced "cool" out loud and went back to quarreling with the crew over whatever shitty hand he was holding... gawd i remember this crap like it was yesterday... upside is i remember everything...so there i was in the army, in a tank, doing cocaine at 16 yrs old, having just smoked pot with the sgt put in charge of me (i was after all a minor, which is a whole different kind of funny). before thunderstruck became the theme of the first gulf war, for those about to rock was the cold war slogan... i remember jamming to ac dc then, in between, and after... ac/dc is the soundtrack to every war.
 
we partied all night and into the wee hours, i had glenn head back to our area as id never been at the range and was too messed up to find my way back. honestly, i'd have just laid down and slept it off and took chances in morning... lol... but we didnt... when we got back to the unit a bunch of the senior officers were standing around a burning barrel...the cmmder was playing grabass with some gal who was not his wife, roman orgy part 2.... we scurried to our tents like drunken rats... because we were... going home after a field exercise are a joke... you pack up... spend all day doing it and then go home and unroll all of it in a parking lot, sweep it off, and then roll it up onto pallets for storage.
 
i was one of the "lucky ones" assigned to this task.... another soldier and i were in the parking lot guiding the forklift under the pallet that was on the truck. i saw something out of the corner of my eye, and turned my head. she was strolling across the parking lot with another female soldier, and they stopped where we were. we had our field shirts off so we had no name tags on. she said "which one of you is bentham?", to which i replied "thatd be me." "we are here to help" she said, and they removed their field shirts and grabbed brooms. as we began, susan made it a point to be working near where i was, and frequently she would tangle her push broom up in mine and then giggle, flashing a wry smile. i pretended "the mission" was more important, mostly because i was shy around girls. that only seemed to make her flirt more. she asked me if i lived in hays and all of the other questions you'd think soldiers ask each other,"mos, when do you go to basic, and where?" which i answered, but i couldn't hardly look at her because i knew i'd wind up staring at her. i told her i lived on a farm. she pried for more details. "what kind of farm? and where?" so i told her. more sweeping. more flirting. an nco came over inspected that tent and we rolled it up. and readied for the next one. she sidled up next to me as i sat on the finished tent, waiting for the lift driver to unload the next tent... i felt awkward and clumsy... i tried not to say too much without thinking it through because she was incredibly beautiful, smart and funny. i couldn't tell if she was actually interested in me, or just messing around. i was leaving for basic in a few weeks and wouldn't see her until i got back so i decided even if she was interested, i probably did not need to start something, just as im leaving. i tried to cool things down. more sweeping. more broom fights. more smiles. more giggles. the tents were done and it was almost time for closing formation. everyone milled about waiting for the cmmdr to show up in the back lot. i scanned the group hoping to see her one last time, to no avail. formation was called, notices were made, and then we were dismissed. i walked back out to the parking lot. my mind was distracted. so badly in fact that i was bumping into other people because i couldn't walk and daydream about her at the same time. i was happy and sad all at the same time. i reached for the door handle and then a familiar voice stopped me"hey you". i turned, it was her. her hair was down, head tilted to the side just a bit. shoulder length, beautiful auburn hair glimmering in the 5 oclock sun. "a bunch of us are going to McGreevy's for beers, would you wanna come with us?" she walked right up to me and was standing with her face not a foot away from my mine, as i looked into those eyes i felt my heart sank as my brain reminded me i was only 16, and i still had cows to milk. "i can't i said, the real world is a calling me". she said," well maybe when youre done you can come out and play?" "maybe..." i said in a tone that im sure implied unlikely. "well" she said"see you later", only she didnt move. "bye then" i replied not moving either. and we just looked into each others eyes. without sounding like too much of a schmuck, there is a point when you meet certain people that you have a connection with and when you are both realizing it at same moment in time it is both entrancing and transcending. i wanted to kiss her so bad i couldn't stand it. i believe she would have let me. fortunately one of the people she was going out with hollered for her, so i didn't have to find out. "see you around sometime" and she kinda did a skip as she went away. i needed a shower and to get the cows milked. i headed home.
 
i went to the barn and started the sterilizer wash cycle on the milk system. i sent the blue heeler to get the cows. "sam" would walk, on his own, clear to the far side of the farm and get the cows and bring them to the barn. you just had to tell him to. if one wander off and wasn't with the rest in the corral, you could tell him he missed some and he would head off and run the whole perimeter of the fence until he found her. the weekend was catching up to me, i decided to shower while all of this was going on. i headed to the house.
 
i turned on some music and jumped in the shower...

Big man, pig man, ha ha charade you are.
You well heeled big wheel, ha ha charade you are.
And when your hand is on your heart,
You're nearly a good laugh,
Almost a joker,
With your head down in the pig bin,
Saying "Keep on digging."
Pig stain on your fat chin.
What do you hope to find.
When you're down in the pig mine.
You're nearly a laugh,
You're nearly a laugh
But you're really a cry.
 
"thump, thump, thump!". i quit singing...:D... uncle joe would come by on drill weekends and visit about what we got to do, usually he'd show up with beer and help me milk. frequently he pounded on the outside of the house, if i wasnt in the barn. i turned the water off, grabbed a towel from the shelf, and walked down the hallway to the door. holding the towel with one hand i opened the door. it was her. "oh my!" i said.
 
she was standing at the base of the stairs with the storm door wide open. "what doin'?" she asked. still dripping i said"i thought you were going out with friends" "and I thought you had to work" she said, "looks like your getting ready for bed". " "no" i said,"girls are on the slab and machine is rinsing". "oh" she said. we stood there for a minute. she broke the silence and said "can i watch?". "sure. come in. let me get dressed" she bounded up the steps and followed me into the living room. she was still behind me as i headed to my bedroom. i stopped. "uhm, whats up?" i asked. she quickly came back with "you said i could watch". i said "well... yeah but not this part". as i turned to walk away she grabbed the towel. "go wait in the living room" i said, trying not to laugh. "okay" she said with a pouty face on.
 
as i dressed she announced, "i brought beer would you like one?" i said "sure". i heard the door slam, so i finished getting ready and walked back into the living room. i grabbed two pairs of boots and dads jean jacket. i was met at the door with a beer. handing me a beer she said "you like you could use this". i held up the boots and jacket and looked her up and down. with a big smile on my face i said "and you... will be NEEDING these". "well alrighty then" she giggled. we walked to the barn brushing shoulders occasionally and each time we'd both laugh. around we went, to the back side of the building which where the cows all stand on the slab. sam had them all there and i confirm this by counting them from atop the corral fence. i closed the pen and susan asked, "do they bite?". "no" i said"hell they are just like dogs" i said, "only bigger." "in fact" i went on to say, "they really like it if you rub that crown on the top of their head" i stuck my hand throught the fence and showed her. following suit, she giggled when she first touch the cow. when the cow mooed at her and try to get her to pet her again she squealed. she was standing there in a very flattering pair of 501's an emerald green silk blouse and i could help noticing just how beautiful she was. i remember almost choking on a lump in my throat as i told her we needed to get started. i set up the equipment and she frequently tried to stand in my way.:D. and we laughed. then i let 8 cows in, locked the stantions, and motioned for her to follow me into the pit. i proceeded to explain the details of hooking up the milkers. you have to clean each teat, "prime" it by hand a couple times, and at that time check for lumps and/or blood in the initial streams. i let her "prime" one of the teats and she squealed again when it successfully produced a stream of milk. "okay", she said,"i think i got it. i'll go on the other side". we had our backs to each other. well i did at least...:D... the back of my head was wet. i turned my head. i took a shot of milk to the face. she laughed uproariously at her aim. put her hand over her mouth, and then said "im sorry, i wanted to do that but i figured id miss". that she was still repressing giggles , but not the big grin was in no way convincing of remorse. i smiled,"so that's how it's gonna be? it is on!"
 
and i will.. time to plant feed tho' and im a slave to the hungry folks on the planet....
 
this stuff reads like a film.


and I love that you carry your uncle around with you.
 
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