anybody interested in hearing a story?

the next ten minutes was lost in the fog of milk war... we pretended to be doing real combat movements and were squirting each other with milk. shed duck and run to one side or the other and i would go from end to end. i finally decided i had to shut the fun down because the girls were gettin ancy from all the activity and i didn't want anyone to get hurt. "stop!" i said and raised my hand like a traffic cop. she said "you stop..." i said " i just did"... she yelled "quitter!!" and proceeded to soak me some more. strategically i started applying the milkers, because i only taught her how to put them on, and not how to take them off. she was running out of cow... and at the last one we had to butt wrestle and shove each other a bit... i won... in hindsight... she prolly let me...:D i finished hooking up the last milker and walked to the end of the pit and sat on the stairs. she walked over towards me and was still giggling about what had just happened. so i was i but i was trying to be cool so i repressed showing it... she said"well... now what?". i said "now we wait" "how long?" she asked. i said "oh... it'll be a bit". she came closer to me and stood kind of in between my legs as i was seated. she leaned in towards me, and i knew she wanted to kiss me, but i brushed her attempt aside and gave her a cheek brush...:D. she slapped my stomach. "you dont want to kiss me?" she said. i said "well yes i do, but not if you don't want me to." she said,"i would like that very much" and this time we both leaned in together. and i knew it was right. her lips tasted like honey and felt warm pressed against mine...
 
"slam!!"... that was the front door... "creak", that was the parlor door... then i saw uncle joes huge frame standing at the top of the pit. and there i am kissing a girl...i couldnt have stopped myself if i wanted to... nor did i try...he looked down at us... and said "robbie, robbie, robbie." he had a cheshire grin on him so i knew i wasn't in trouble... lol... he had a five pack dangling from the plastic six pack holder and he took a big swig of his beer. then he announced he "would see me tomorrow and i needed to stay out of trouble"... susan asked if he was my dad and i told her no, he's my best friend i said. she was concerned that because he left i was in trouble and i assured her i wasn't. after that she let me milk the cows pretty much uninterrupted except that she would occasionally come smooch on me, and smile. or she'd wrap her arms around my waist and pull me toward her. as much as i was liking it i was kinda nervous about it. she wasnt my first girlfriend, but i was still 16. she wasnt even close to that...;)... at some point i was gonna have to tell her... in penthouse forum you call that "lucky", in a courtroom its "statutory rape of a minor", in church "it's something god has already forgiven me for cause i just asked him to and he said yuh hunh"... at any rate... i tried to slow things down even tho i wanted to not be doing that very, very, very badly.
 
we finished milking and she was visibly stunned by how long it took. "you do this twice a day" she said "and you still go to college?"... ugh... reality was coming sooner than i had hoped... i changed the subject by starting the wash cycle and leaving the barn... she followed... we walked back by the trash barrels and i lit them on fire... we smoked cigarettes and held hands and kissed a bit more... and we talked... about everything... how much we loved MTV (hey it used to have music on it). we talked of music and movies and just stuff... searching for commonalities to justify what we both already decided to do... i just had to tell her.... that one little thing...
 
okay... i didnt want to say anything but i broke my back in 93. in one of the worst places. i just keep going like all hell anyway because im not a quitter by nature... gonna walk til i cant no more.... well things are getting a bit worse... the VA wants to solve the problem with pain masking agents... i dont agree... surgery is what it calls for and as freaked out and horrified by the details as i am... im going to go ahead and let them do it... i see the neurologist on the 19th and he's going to schedule me for the procedure then. im only going to be off and on until then as im going to be using my legs for what could be the last time... not trynna be a drama queen... it just is what it is... ill be back around... not a quitter by nature... ps adz... i saw the turkeys this morning and by fall there will be mating dance photos if i have to drag myself to the field... lol
 
Best of luck, Robert. I still want to hear the rest of your story.
 
you know... i had the worst day... and yet the best day last weekend. went to the lake with the grandkids cause one called and was crying bout how he don't spend enuff time with grandpa (we always have fun;)) some friends were going to the lake and i actually even drug my helpers kids with me too (wasnt to gawd awful hard either... kids like lakes) anyway... so we're all out at the beach and kids want to go in the water but well, i swim like a rock at this point. :(. but i went anyway... so i'm standing in the water and people are frolicking about and guess what? i am not. that bummed me out pretty bad. when single x (xavier, my daughters son) asked me to toss him in the air, i couldnt... at that point i was kind of livid with myself. it isnt a rare surgery or a rare problem, success is one of those ill defined terms but im gonna take a chance.... every moment of my grandchildrens life has been about watching out for my leg... rah rah rah.... my grandchildrens present shouldn't bring neither pain nor warning.... couple days later i was leaving to go to work.. walk out door step down and i swear it was like i jabbed my leg straight into an ice pick... my leg buckled and i fell... having some pavers put into the garden so naturally theres a stack of bricks right at the bottom...;) waiting.... but not for long....ended up with a bruise about 6 inches around on my leg... for the first time in my life i had an occassion where a great big old wizard staff woulda come in handy, and even tho i always wanted one i never did stop to make one, and now i coulda used it not more than mere seconds ago... anyway...
 
so heres my problem... the nerve bundle that runs down the right side of my leg is being pinched becuase i have two compressed discs in my back. they want me to let them wallow out the hole that the bundle passes thru with a dremel tool (actually its prolly a craftsman pneumatic die grinder).. :confused:... and i am as happy about that as you might think i am...
 
well anyway... when we finished milking susan suggested we go for a ride.. and we did... ended up at buffalo park where we spent half the time smoochin and talkin while sitting on the swings... i never actually met anyone i wanted to spend the whole night talking to... but i did then... i was a halfway emancipated minor... we decided to take our chances... i wish i could get near porn here but i wont and truthfully... i can hardly even remember the sex we had and ive had ten times dirtier sex since... the only thing i really remember distinctively was the way the moonlight creeped thru the window on her naked body and the way her hair smelled.
 
so went to the VA today its a 2 1/2 hr drive and i had to go in the DAV van cause i can't make my leg push on the gas pedal and apparently when your taking lortabs youre not supposed to drive at all. (according to the bottle). so naturally they showed up at 10 after 7 to have me there by 9. the lady driver was very nice and as it turns out she was from colby and knows my step mom real well... well enough that some of her extra cats are at dads anyway... we yapped almost the whole way down there. by the time i went to my first appt it was 943 and i was feeling kinda bummed about that. i was not looking forward to the ride again to make it up. they were nice about it tho and told me to come back over lunch and my nurse would take care of me over her lunch break. "hmmn." i thought, "well thats different". off i limped to building one to the second floor to see the neurologist, i was offered a wheelchair ride, but i waived it off because well... it's kind of humiliating... i got checked in with 2 minutes to spare. you have to pull a number then wait til they call it to do that and i let a guy go ahead of me some my number was 005. (first three digits of my social security number) (yay!!!) i took a seat. she called my number. i handed her my paperwork, id and my number slip. she looked at my social on the screen, and smile came over her face. she said "wow this is your lucky day" she shredded my appt paperwork and slid the number across the desk and told me to save it "you know, for luck" luck is something you manufacture. but i took it anyway and slipped it into my back pocket. i was in the waiting room for 5 minutes. the next nurse i saw was on the "neurology team"(badge said so). she was personable, very confident, extremely intelligent and delightfully charming. (also a very well toned, blonde woman, an inch taller than me). she handled my intake with the general questions and the finding out about whats all going. then she says "dr XXXXX is doing a teaching class today. would you be comfortable with them sitting in?". 20 yrs of going to the VA makes that just another dr visit. its pretty routine, medical college in wichita so ... yeah go figure... i told her it was fine... i sat down for about two more minutes and then she came back for me and we entered the room. the three students were lined up in a row of chairs on the wall. one student stood up and he looked like the young blonde haired dr on "house" and his name was winstead (lol)...:D anyway....
 
but its funny that i made that house connection, because i got treated to a real life episode only moments later. i keep copies of all my medical records on disc now... the myhealthevet makes it easier. so i had a copy of the last mri laying right on top. after we were all introduced i got handed a gown and proceded down to the boxer briefs. that has never happened yet. he pulls out a tuning fork apparatus and a reflex tool that was round and disclike, not the regular triangle one. he hands them to winstead and tells him to "examine the patient". whole room got quiet, he fumbled with the tools kinda nervously. the dr. talked over the whole history from start to finish as the dr sort of eased up and found his groove. the dr would always say and "what else?" or "what's your diagnosis" at paced intervals depending on what he was knocking on. and they would stop, and think for a minute then each would make a conclusion and he would shoot it down by asking them what about this or that tho" and "did you check to see if he's got positive or negative this or that?" and he'd sheepishly turn back and check" i could tell young winstead wanted to look at the mri disc he saw on the desk. the dr. noticed him eyeballing it too. this was about to get interesting....
 
so he kept forcing them to change their conclusions based on the new evidence they were finding by actually listening to me as i explained the pain. and they tapped me with the hammer... :D winstead was becoming impatient and he looked over at the disc on the desk one too many times apparently, and then the dr. asked"would it be better to look at the MRI first?". winston shrugged" couldn't hurt?" he replied, and looked down... whole room gets quiet again. i looked at the nurse and she gave me this huge smile, and she gestured with her eyes for me to focus on the dr. and so i did... this is only slightly paraphrased.
 
the dr picked up the disc with his left hand and he said "this is what is wrong with modern healthcare today. we have become so dependent on the technology we have forgotten how to treat the patient and instead we'd rather treat the mri." he said as he lifted the disc into the air "this technology has already failed you, but more importantly it has failed mr bentham" "now" he said "tell me how it has failed" winstead thought for a moment, and you could tell he only half understood the question.
 
the dr showed him some mercy and gave him a starting point. "what do you know?" and they went back and forth talking about radial nerves and sciatica.. after a few minutes the dr asked him again for a diagnosis, and winstead gave him one. the dr said "if thats true, then why is he here still in pain". the young dr pondered it for what now seemed like a brief second and then he prattled off something and the dr. smiled. "and?" he asked. then i saw a light come on the young drs. brain and he said, "theyve been giving him steroid injections in the wrong spot the whole time." and the dr smiled again. still holding the disc he made his empty hand like he was holding a syringe and said"mri mrb mrc the diagnosis is ones mans opinion of what the mri shows, your diagnosis needs to start with the patient. the mri is to confirm what you know." he popped the disc into his computer and said "let's confirm what you now know" and on the screen was me... well my spiny parts...:D... then they walked through the whole thing and then the dr looked at me and said,"they completely missed once too didnt they?" i said "yeah, students" he smiled. so the injections have been useless and ineffective because they injected them into wrong place. and the only real solution is surgery. not one but two, gotta have hole wallowed out, and a disc completely removed and fused. they are going to try and do them at the same time. now its just a waiting game for when they can get me into surgery in kansas city. i went back to my missed appt and it was with a social worker since i'm gonna need some different living quarters for a bit since my dogs are too big to be in that shape around. and i live in a two story house on kind of a hill so toooooooo many steps also. as nervous as i am about all of this, i also feel a bit more hopeful. something will be arranged.
 
I'll keep this short because I don't want to interrupt your story but as I've spent time at various doctors the last several weeks for my mother I can add something here.

mom has always had issues with her sinuses - allergies much of her adult life and recently has been feeling dizzy almost constantly. Fortunately my mother's GP is Excellent. And I do mean Superior. This is a guy that really listens. He's got interns (or whatever they are called) who check out the basic states first. pulse, and looking at the area with the complaint and listening to the symptoms. Now, when it's serious like this and not just a check up I go in and make sure everyone gets a clear explanation of the symptoms because when one is in pain one can get off the topic. If ya get my drift.

Mom had a visit with doc R a few weeks ago and they did an EKG and whatever.... he didn't find anything unusual at the time. Later we went to the nose doc and he "misted" her nose (that always cleans out stuff and mom feels good because she can breath). An MRI showed no infection..a nose spray was given.......

Mom was sort of ok but still had trouble breathing and was dizzy.

well, today we returned to Doc R and I went into as much detail as I could...they checked her ears and found there was fluid, esp in the right ear. (mind you I'm compressing what basically took a few hours of examination) - after Doc R consulted via phone with the nose doc they decide what medications mom should have. Doc R has samples of one pill and I drive a few blocks to the nose doc to pick up samples of another pill and nose spray.

I don't think I am explaining this well but this system works because Doc R really pays attention to the Person and not just a series of symtoms. He really is a brilliant diagnostician. I've watched him do this before. After all, he basically saved my mom's life when she had to have an operation a few years ago.

If anyone ever moves to NY and needs a doctor he's your man.
 
cecilia said:
I'll keep this short because I don't want to interrupt your story but as I've spent time at various doctors the last several weeks for my mother I can add something here.
Click to expand...

i wish more would participate... ;) the best day you'll ever have as a human; is the one that finds you realizing you aren't alone in the struggle of life....

a while back, i got kinda pissed at the VA as i felt like they were failing me so i asked them for a second opinion. they didnt really want to send me somewhere outside VA, but i raised enuff hell they submitted begrudgingly. it was a back surgery specialist in wichita, a private corporation. they did their own MRI on me and the disc i had contained their results and conclusions. it was the corporations dr who made the misdiagnosis.(he never even did a physical examination). i made VA follow those recommendations because i was just sure VA was loaded with incompetent boobs who didnt care. save this one issue tho, i have always felt my level of care was above top notch, second only to the care i received while on active duty.(which is still the best ive ever had).yes i had to keep after them in order to get to this place, but a human should be dedicated to their own healthcare anyway. socialized medicine is already as good as any other in place, with more people on it, it will only get better.
 
That's the thing....people HAVE to get serious about their health. They have to pay attention to their symptoms and figure out what is going on so when they see a medical person they properly report useful data. They have to see their body like a machine. Treated well it will last a long time.

Today we went to the eye doc for the post op evaluation (after a week). Mom's left eye is 20/25. The doc said mom heals better than some 45 year olds. And if you had an idea how old mom is you would faint.

As to her sinus problem the meds seem to be doing their work and she's starting to feel a bit better.

But that's because all her life she has respected her body. Aside from stress and raising kids, working a couple of jobs, yada yada....mom has always keep herself in good shape. Frankly, I don't know where she got the energy. She would get up at 5 AM shot out of a cannon and go through the day at top speed.

health is the best gift we have. I hope Americans start to understand this. I hope they begin to see how they shouldn't expect someone else to preform a miracle when in fact THEY should have been taking care of their own miraculous machine all along.

Prevention is the best way to stay healthy. American medicine is actually quite good for accidents and unusual occurrences. But if you want to heal as well as mom and have a very short medical history then you have to take care of yourself from day one.
 
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