Bizarro News 2019-2020

[metalman]

21 Year Old Reeaz Khan told detectives, “He fell down, his belt broke, his pants fell down and his penis fell near her vagina,”

Man admits to killing elderly Queens woman known as ‘cat lady’

NY man held in murder, sex assault of 92-year-old woman claims his ‘pants fell’ before alleged contact

 

[redrumloa]

21 Year Old Reeaz Khan told detectives, “He fell down, his belt broke, his pants fell down and his penis fell near her vagina,”

Man admits to killing elderly Queens woman known as ‘cat lady’

NY man held in murder, sex assault of 92-year-old woman claims his ‘pants fell’ before alleged contact

Probably should start a Bizarro News 2020 thread, since it is 2020

 

[metalman]

Probably should start a Bizarro News 2020 thread, since it is 2020

this thread is only 5 pages, so I guess will wait until 2021

 

[redrumloa]

this thread is only 5 pages, so I guess will wait until 2021

There, renamed the thread for ya

 

[metalman]

21 Year Old Reeaz Khan told detectives, “He fell down, his belt broke, his pants fell down and his penis fell near her vagina,”

Man admits to killing elderly Queens woman known as ‘cat lady’

NY man held in murder, sex assault of 92-year-old woman claims his ‘pants fell’ before alleged contact

illegal alien from Guyana, Reeaz Khan was in the US on an expired 2016 B-2 tourist visa

Khan was shielded from deportation, despite being arrested and found to be overstaying his visa, by New York state’s sanctuary policy

 

[metalman]

Wichita Falls, Texas Police: Woman with five warrants gave fake name that also had warrant

 

[metalman]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1235895107389399040

 

[metalman]

Fight at Sam's Club escalates when shoppers strike each other with wine bottles

 

[metalman]

Crook Breaks Into Car To Steal Toilet Paper
The Caper Of The Kleptomaniac Copping The Car's Cottonelle Cases

 

[metalman]

Man facing charges after high-speed chase on I-5 with pit bull in driver's seat

Authorities have not publicly identified the 51-year-old man who is from Lakewood but he is facing several charges, including DUI, reckless driving, hit-and-run and felony eluding, the Washington State Patrol said

Troopers said the man told them he was teaching his dog how to drive

 

[metalman]

After the murder, Alisha Williams invited a friend over for coffee and told the guest, “not to mind the body,” and said she had, ” just shot him this morning,” according to a Facebook post about the killing

 

[metalman]

California man punched his mom for hiding toilet paper: cops

“Apparently the family disturbance had started over an argument about toilet paper,” Miller told The Post. “[Yan’s mother] said that she had been hiding it because he was using too much.”

 

[metalman]

California: Owner Of Fatte’s Pizza In Atascadero Robs Fatte’s Pizza In Paso Robles At Gunpoint

 

[metalman]

Man Arrested Seven Times During Shelter-In-Place, Sheriff Says.

Waseen H. Abuhwaidi, 28, “was charged with incidents that occurred in Dublin three times in the past week, jail records show. According to the sheriff’s office and jail records, he’s facing charges including: second-degree burglary; attempted second-degree robbery; trespassing carjacking; resisting, obstructing or delaying an officer; driving under the influence of alcohol; and vandalism. He has been arrested in multiple Alameda County cities.”

 

[metalman]

Boys Let Black Widow Bite Them In Hopes Of Turning Into Spider-Man

 

[redrumloa]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10217715142250380

 

[Robert]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10217715142250380

No idea of the rest of that story but I'm guessing it didn't end well for the chap with the footgun.

 

[redrumloa]

Man Rams Phone Charger Up His Manhood, Gets Stuck in His Bladder

Dr. Islam said the embarrassed patient had a habit of inserting cables and “other stuff” through his penis for sexual pleasure."

“It’s a type of masturbation called urethral sounding, which is the insertion of an object or liquid into the urethra,” said the senior consultant surgeon.

 

[redrumloa]

NYC Officially Recommends Glory Holes for COVID-19 Safe Sex

Among the advice included in the guide is the suggestion: “Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.” Yes, a glory hole.

 

[ilwrath]

NYC Officially Recommends Glory Holes for COVID-19 Safe Sex

Among the advice included in the guide is the suggestion: “Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.” Yes, a glory hole.

Isn't COVID also transmittable by sexual contact alone? Doesn't seem like a glory hole is a great idea here. (If we're being honest, are they ever a good idea??)